


insecure (fighting for us)

by GodOfGlitter



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Misunderstandings, Suspicions, basically Laurent thinks Damen is cheating on him, reassurances ensue, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:47:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22210531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GodOfGlitter/pseuds/GodOfGlitter
Summary: Here’s the thing- he’s called the snake of Vere for a reason. He’s smart- cunningly so- and he’s got connections everywhere. He knows which courtier is “talking” to who’s wife behind closed doors, and he knows which nobles have their palms greased regularly. He knows the names, details, and dirty secrets of every important person in the two kingdoms he rules- and in the neighbouring kingdoms too. He has plans- and he has counter plans to those, and then he has counter plans for those as well. He has a wide army of hidden spies no one will ever be able to trace back to him, and he knows exactly where they are and who they’re talking to. He controls their speech, just as he controls this subtle game that is being a king.So yeah, Laurent knows everything worth knowing. Which is why he knows Damen is cheating on him.*Or: How Laurent learned to never doubt Damen's faithfulness.
Relationships: Damen/Laurent (Captive Prince)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 215





	insecure (fighting for us)

**Author's Note:**

> Did I just title a second fic based on the same song? Yes, yes I did. 
> 
> HI EVERYONE IT'S BEEN SO LONG. Almost six months, actually. I haven't written anything in a long time, mostly because I just finished my first semester in college and it was very, very hectic. I literally shifted to another country, got used to that, and then somehow managed to study and write really bad poetry occasionally. But hopefully, my hiatus is over, and I can go back to writing regularly again. I'm praying here, people.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like this, and that this can actually be my resurrection from the writing grave (does anyone even read these notes or can I babble more). If you do, please leave a Kudos and comment something nice.
> 
> Also, you can find me on Tumblr as GodOfGlitter, and I'm currently taking prompts- and I swear I'll write a fic within one week. I'm working on it.

it begins, as always, with a Conversation.

As always, he isn’t supposed to be there.

Here’s the thing- he’s called the snake of Vere for a reason. He’s smart- cunningly so- and he’s got connections everywhere. He knows which courtier is “talking” to who’s wife behind closed doors, and he knows which nobles have their palms greased regularly. He knows the names, details, and dirty secrets of every important person in the two kingdoms he rules- and in the neighbouring kingdoms too. He has plans- and he has counter plans to those, and then he has counter plans for those as well. He has a wide army of hidden spies no one will ever be able to trace back to him, and he knows exactly where they are and who they’re talking to. He controls their speech, just as he controls this subtle game that is being a king.

So yeah, Laurent knows everything worth knowing. Which is why he knows Damen is cheating on him.

For any other royal couple, it would be a very normal thing- one that would sting for a while and then pass into the shadows, never to be discussed or brought into open court or the royal bedchamber. For most other marriages, there would be a silent agreement- a contract of sorts. Days would be divided, excuses would be made.

They are not any other couple.

They’ve discussed this. In kingdoms such as theirs, it’s normal- encouraged, even- for kings to take multiple bedslaves. Laurent is intimately familiar with Damen’s “collection” from _before,_ and he’d tried to tamp down his beating heart when he’d told Damen to go out and explore his options- only to be met with indignation that quickly turned to firm reassurance. Damen loved him, and him only- to sleep with anyone else would be to break the trust that came with that. Laurent had melted, then- and allowed himself to collapse into Damen’s waiting arms and breathe great sighs of relief.

But lately, he’s been noticing. Their arguments have become more frequent, and unlike before- when Damen came back to sort things out between them- Laurent is the one who has to give in. More and more, he’s being forced to shed his icy exterior on his own, without the warm sun that is Damen sneaking in behind his walls to coax him out completely. He’s been absent more, too- Laurent will wake in the night to find the other half of the bed empty, and he’s tired of explaining the shivers down his spine with the lack of warmth only.

He’s trying to be okay with it. He’s been trying to tamp down the arguments he has. He’s been agreeing with Damen more and more, even when he doesn’t actually agree- he knows fighting over small details can be a bore. He’s been trying to give Damen the pleasure he wants by trying to calm himself in bed- but somehow that just leads to both of them being even more frustrated, which just leads to more arguments. He doesn’t think his attempts at salvaging their relationship are working too well.

He knows he’s a difficult person to live with and love, sure as he knows all the other things in his kingdom- despite what Damen tells him repeatedly. So is it really that much of a surprise that Damen’s retreating to the arms of someone less complicated, more open?

It’s fine, really, he tells himself- and if his heart twinges with the pain of loss, that’s between him and his heart. He’ll sort to out later.

All he needs is confirmation- which is what brings him to the gardens, late at night. They’re void of any prying courtiers- and to the guards, he’s calm, collected, and unhurried- just a king clearing his head in some fresh air. His blood is still racing in his veins after the argument he’s had with Damen- one that he’d deliberately initiated, this time. He tries not to dwell too much on the frustrated face Damen made before he left, and he only half succeeds. But it’s okay. Once he confirms his suspicions, he can move on to plan 143B, and he’ll know exactly-

With a start, he realises he’s reached the alcove he’s been looking for. It’s a secret entrance to one of the underground bunkers the palace has to protect its kings in a time of siege- and by nature of it being secret, only the kings and their very personal guards know about it. Quietly, he fits himself into a corner made by some dense shrubbery, and prepares himself to wait.

*

He doesn’t have to wait long.

The slave comes first, as is expected by rank. He’s pretty, as all slaves are- olive skinned with dark brown curls arranged in an appealing- and easily undone- hairdo. He’s wearing a silk cloth that is so transparent it might as well not be there, though his lower body is thankfully covered with some sensuous- but thick- pants. A subtle sheen of glitter highlights the height of his cheekbones, and his ears are adorned in a beautiful set of gold and purple earrings. A gift, most likely.

He’s not what Damen usually prefers, Laurent knows. Maybe Damen just doesn’t want to be reminded of what he already has in his own home. Maybe he’s just-

Laurent forces himself to cut off this train of thought when he hears Damen approaching, because he knows he’s far more observant than the slave, which is why he’ll sense the presence of someone else in the alcove. Carefully, he inches his way deeper into his corner, effectively cutting off his view of what’s happening.

He’s calculating the best way to move back into seeing distance again when he hears a rustling coming from the alcove, and everything in him freezes. Belatedly, he wishes he hadn’t done this at all- he’d much rather live in the delusion that Damen was just stressed, rather than find out for sure that he’s been unfaithful. His heart picks up speed and starts beating louder, and it takes him almost a minute to get it to quiet down.

By then, he’s missed the beginning of their conversation. He holds off on cursing himself, and focusses instead on what Damen is saying-

“Turn around.”

“But I dressed so nicely! I even wore that silk shirt you like, and the earrings you were complimenting the other day.”

“I don’t have time for this. Do you have it?”

“Gotten enough of teasing in your own bedroom, I see. I shall be docile then. Yes, Exalted, I have what you seek, and it was the pleasure of this slave to perform this duty for his master.”

The statement is followed by some more rustling of cloth, which sounds suspiciously like derobing to Laurent. By now, he’s heard enough- he has the proof, he needs to walk away now, before he sees something he doesn’t think his heart can take- so he makes himself move slowly, slowly away from his hiding space.

Of course Damen senses it. “Not here.” He says, and the sound of clothes being put back on follows. “I feel like someone’s eyes are on me. I can’t risk having this discovered. Let’s go somewhere else.”

In a second, both Damen and the slave are out of the alcove, leaving Laurent alone in a corner, frozen in place and numb to the core.

Eventually, he moves, forcing himself to make his way to their chambers. He will not mention this, he will not talk about it, he’ll just adjust to this aspect of Damen’s life- it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s _fine._ He undresses without actually thinking about what he’s doing, all the while thinking about everything and nothing at once, and willing himself to feel something.

Almost as a second thought, he takes the flagon of wine on their- _Damen and yours,_ Laurent’s brain unhelpfully clarifies- bed stand, and makes his way to the corner of the room where Laurent usually reads (and Damen sleeps on him) when he’s tired. The pillows on the floor are rumpled, strewn about haphazardly- but that just reminds Laurent of bright Ios mornings spent doing nothing and being lazy, and with a sharp intake of breath he turns the other way and goes to sit on his table instead.

And that is how Damen finds him an hour later- sitting on his table with a book open in his lap, glass of wine half drunk and cheeks slightly flushed. “I have something for-“

“Why are you cheating on me?”

Surprised silence fills the room, and Laurent looks up just in time to see the bright smile that’d been gracing Damen’s face fade away under the weight of the accusation. And suddenly, he’s angry- and that’s better than sad, so he lets it flow. “Don’t even try to deny it. I’ve been noticing your absences, and don’t even get me started on the damn arguments- and I saw you with that slave in the alcove tonight, so I know, okay? And I thought it’s fine- I’ve been trying to adjust, can’t you see? But it’s _not_ and I hate that you did this to me- I hate it I hate it I hate you-“

“Laurent!” Damen says, eyes wide and full of an anger of their own. “Is your faith in me really so feeble that you think I’d break the promise I made you all those months ago? Do you really think that after all we’ve been through- after all I’ve done for and to you, I’d just leave you for some random slave’s arms? I thought we were clear in this matter, and that we’d never mention it again- and what is this whole thing about adjusting? Is that why you’ve been acting so strange lately, like you have something to say but aren’t letting it past your lips? Let me make one thing very clear- I am _not_ being unfaithful, nor will I ever be. That slave you saw me with is favoured by the Venetian scribe, and I needed him to coax him into writing something for me in secrecy, since the scribe seems to hate me for whatever reason.”

“What is it?” Asks Laurent, regret at his own actions mixing with curiosity and relief and love to create a heady cocktail of emotions he doesn’t think he can handle.

“It’s a song- a new one. About Auguste and his bravery at Marlas. Written on a beautiful scroll by the scribe and illustrated by the slave I was talking to.” Says Damen, and everything in Laurent _melts,_ suddenly, when he sees the white parchment in Damen’s hands.

It’s all he can do to not fling himself onto Damen like a swooning princess- yet it only takes him three strides to cross all the way over to where Damen is standing and slot himself in his arms. The tears fall, then- and the stupid Akielon knows him so well he doesn’t pull him away or try to comfort him with false platitudes- he just holds him there, the weight of his embrace heavy and reassuring on his shoulders, until Laurent has enough courage to raise his head to gaze into Damen’s eyes.

“I’m sorry I doubted you.” He says, feeling himself flush with embarrassment and feeling the words stick in his throat. He’s never apologised willingly before. It’s new.

“And I’m sorry I made you worry.” Says Damen. “It’s just that you’ve been so stressed lately, and then you started withdrawing your opinions from our discussion, and you were- er- behaving differently in bed the other day, and I thought you were getting distant again, and I just wanted to bridge that gap somehow. I should’ve told you- I know how you don’t like surprises and-“

The feel of warm lips on his makes him stop, and suddenly the feeling he’s been carrying in his chest dissipates into the shared heat of the two of them. Laurent tastes like tears and wine, and Damen can’t help but draw him closer to lick every drop of sadness away from him forever.

They separate after an eternity, breaths harsh and mouths glistening red. “I love you.” Says Damen, first. “I love you as you are, no changes. I love you today, and I’ll love you tomorrow, and I will never, ever be unfaithful to you. I promise this to you, again.”

“I love you.” Says Laurent, tipping his head up to look Damen fully in the eyes. “And I’m sorry. But let’s put this behind us, please? I would not have our future tainted by this misunderstanding.”

Damen nods, regaining his excited puppy look in leaps and bounds, and Laurent lets out a startled laugh as he lifts him into his arms and carries him to their bed.

They don’t come out of their chambers for a while.

*

Later, in the quiet breeze and dimming lights-

“I feel bad having made love to you with that scroll in here.”

“ _What_?”

“It’s like- the scroll is about him, so it feels like he’s watching from the other world and planning to murder me for defiling his pure young brother. And for causing him pain in the beginning of the night.”

“Well, for one- I am not pure, and you now it. Secondly, the defiling was asked for and _much_ appreciated, so it doesn’t count. And thirdly- what’s with that goofy smile you’re giving me?”

“I’m just- really glad you’re back to yourself.”

“Aha! I knew you liked it when I argued with you. Honestly, I know you just need someone to tell you you’re not as powerful as you think you are, Damianos, which is why- _ah!”_

Suffice to say, Laurent doesn’t talk much after that.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
